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Experts on Honeymoon Cystitis

In this series, we will have the benefit of advice from people with some expertise in the conditions under the heading of bladder infections. Sometimes medical or as in the case here sometimes just practical. This columnist a big proponent of the cranberry cure.

From the Purser

Barbara Potter, Practical Honeymoonitis Expert
Barbara Potter was purser on several cruise lines and here is the advice that she used to give to crew and others on board ship who were taking full advantage of the romantic environment afforded by their maritime adventures.
Maybe they should call it seastitis

I worked on cruise ships for five years and if it is one thing we saw a lot of, it is honeymoon cystitis.  No, I’m not talking about the passengers, although when you consider the number of honeymooners aboard ship on any given week, I am sure the doctors onboard were old hands at handling the condition.  I am talking about crew members.

One thing about ship life and being a crewmember – sooner or later, you were going to end up sleeping with another crew member.  It is a small, isolated society and living in close quarters breeds interesting bedfellows, to say the least.  As Purser, I was in charge of the crew and some of them became like little brothers and sisters to me.   It never seemed to fail that on layovers (when all the passengers were off the ship and we had a break for a day or two), partying would lead to the inevitable waking up beside a good friend.   Who had just become a REALLY good friend.  I guess there was a reason they were called layovers.

Within an hour or two of breakfast word would get back to me that so and so felt like she had to go to the bathroom constantly, but then couldn’t pee.  I would take her aside and give her the lecture.

Diagnosis of Honeymoon Cystitis

“Who did you sleep with last night?”  It didn’t matter; on a small ship you are starved for gossip and I was just being nosy. 

She’d mutter the guy’s name and hang her head. 

“After sex did you get up and go to the bathroom right away?” 
“No.  I was too embarrassed.”  Did I mention that these kids were young?

I’d go to the galley and get a gallon of cranberry juice.

Drink Cranberry Juice

“Drink this.  All of it.  As much as you can as fast as you can. When you are done, come back to me for another bottle.” 

I would then explain that she had cystitis from not peeing after sex and that the cranberry juice would give her relief soon.  After I extracted a promise from her to always pee after sex, she would extract a promise from me not to tell who she had slept with.  Which I would promptly report to the Captain and Hotel Manager.  Not for punishment.  Did I mention that we were starved for gossip??? 

Whether you are passenger or crew, honeymoon cystitis and cruise ships just seem to go together.  By land or by sea, have the cranberry juice close at hand and your sex life will have smooth sailing.

Honeymoon cystitis disease or urinary tract infection is one of the most common sexual health complaints of women and girls.

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